If Home isn't a place...

I was looking for home and for so long. I traveled to countries I've never heard of before in search of a place I could call my home. I was always told that someday I'll be able to live in a city, settled, and create my own home. I looked for that city in all the countries I could see.

My Google timeline says I have been to 24 countries, 257 cities, and 1315 places.

If you ask me, I would say Google Maps didn't exist when I didn't have a phone. And even then, I was looking for home.

If you ask me, I can't tell you which city was for me to stay.

I have spent years wondering if I could ever be able to find my place.

If I were to create a home where would that be?

Eventually I stuck to the phrase - the world is my oyster. And maybe someday I would travel the entire world. This suited my narrative of being an explorer, belonging to the entire world than to one place.

When I was locked down in one, I finally began to wonder what was I really running from?

I made my house my home then. I cleansed it often, and I thought I'd never be able to stay for long in other places, other cities. Maybe this is what "settled" means, I thought to myself.

Until more time elapsed, the seasons changed, and so did I.

These days I find myself in peace.

Everywhere I go, I can find a corner reserved for me.

A room, a corner, a seat at a café, at a friend's crowded place, at my ancestral home, my parent's house, my sister's bunk- it could be anything and I'd feel okay.

A wretched little untidy room, a large sunny front-porch- put me anywhere and I'd be able to sit and write.

And when I am with my thoughts, I feel I'm home.

Maybe home isn't a place. Maybe it isn't something you look for outside of you.

Maybe home is within you. You cleanse that part every day.

Maybe home is a mindset - you are safe wherever you are.

Maybe home is a space - you feel expansive wherever you are.

Comments

"Are You a Lesbian?"

“Are you a lesbian?” A friend of mine once asked me mockingly when we were discussing about my aversion from some (“some” not “all”) kind of men. “No. But does it matter?” I asked her scornfully. No, I wasn’t bothered that I was asked a question about my sexuality. But what I didn’t understand was that is being a lesbian a matter to be jeered about? What if I was one? Wouldn’t I be hurt and embarrassed that my sexuality was just mocked at? Why are the words “gay” or “lesbian” used as slangs? Another incident, that took place a couple of years back, was when I was teasing two girl friends of mine, accusing them of having an affair. I considered it as normal as teasing a guy and a girl. One of them found it so disrespectful that she, instead of simply denying the fact, chided that she isn’t of such “third class” standard. I later discussed the small argument that we had, with her, trying to make my point that being a lesbian or a transgender doesn’t define anyone’s cla...

Ek Tha Tiger : Review

A huge fan I am of the actor Salman Khan, but as asked by my friends for an unbiased review (i.e. assuming it was just another actor and not THE Salman Khan) here it goes: 5 stars is what I would give it just after recalling Salman's face once, but "committing" to my promise as stated above, I am giving it somewhere between 4 and 4.5 stars. Now, I know that many critics have given it 3 stars but ignoring every other review or the star's charisma I give it a 4 that goes solely to the movie. One star I have deducted because the dialogues at the very first scene did not live up-to my expectations. Nor was Salman looking his very best (I felt like he was having a cold or the likes of that). The action scenes were not over shown or dramatic like that of Bodyguard’s (albeit it came as a nice surprise to me). But the unexpected twists and turns after the interval of the movie are what made the movie one of a kind. You would expect something to happen while the oppo...

Because You're a Woman

I am often surprised, if not dismayed, when I read those angry articles on women, and especially when it’s penned down by a woman. A few days back I read a piece of article written by a renowned author quoting that the modern woman instead of seeking to be a man should regain her femininity. Whenever it’s mentioned what a man or woman “should” do or be like, it disappoints me. Who decides who should behave like whom? Are these the rules written in ancient scriptures, which were written by no one else but men or women like us who happened to belong to a different era? Are these the rules mentioned by kings and queens who no longer reign? Or are these rules conveyed by the Almighty himself/herself whose existence is somehow dubious for some, if not all, of the people? It must be amusing to look at the world through the tinted glasses one wears; and then whenever a color seems too bright or too pale, to quote it as a misfit. Where lays the liberty of just being human? Is i...

Pens and Pages

Search This Blog