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A Traveler's Saga

Photo taken at Plitvice National Park, Croatia by Vibhor Dhote Oh! What are these days I have found myself in! The bagpacks I carry no longer feel that heavy; What have they lost if not for a few coins, a few notes, some letters written long ago, a few locks, a few clothes? Or is it the loss of some fears, some shackles, some thoughts tied to their waist belts several years ago? Where is the fatigue? Where are the tears that drenched my pillow? Where is the inability to wake up early in the morning and the incessant desire to sleep forever? Today, every time I close my eyes, I need to type, I need to write. Where is the indolence, the procrastination, the lack of, as I would say whenever they ask, the "limited time"? What is this insouciance called? Where have eloped the eternal need for love, money and the things I've already sold? Why Plath has shut her eyes today whom I so deeply adored? Bukowski's Bluebird is set free now while Sahir's pleas
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Why we write

 When I first thought of starting a new blog / website / newsletter, I had thought I would write perfect articles with all the self-healing tips I have learned in life. The perfect articles never came, because I am not perfect. And let me tell you a little secret, having met and observed different kinds of people from up close, I can comfortably tell you that nobody is perfect. Not even your role model. You will know when you know them in person. It is different when I am counseling clients, because I see them for they are, what they have gone through, what they could become if they leave the beliefs that are limiting them or contracting them, and tell them how they can become that. With some healing techniques, I facilitate them to shed some unnecessary and harmful beliefs right away. Every client is different. Every life story is different. Every root cause is different. And I have the natural gift and some learned techniques to figure out these stories, find the root causes, deal wi

How we deal with Dis-Ease

 Two years back, N made a daily Zoom call where a few people would get together and chant a Consciousness mantra in the morning before we start our days. I did that for about a month and then caught Covid, got hospitalized and forgot all about the group. A year later, I checked my whatsapp messages thoroughly to find the group still active. I joined one of the calls. Only N and another person was there in the call. N had her hair short. "Why did you cut your hair short?" I asked without any point of view. "Just like that. A new style." "I think the stylist didn't cut it properly." "I cut it myself, actually." But something was wrong, The haircut somehow didn't make sense. She looked like she lost weight too. I asked her again. She said that in a few cultures, people cut their hair short when their husbands die, and even though many people asked her that but I can trust her that it wasn't that at all. Her husband too had cut his hair s

I Wanted to Walk Out and Then I Realized I Didn't

I have always believed that Love and Relationships are different things, often misunderstood to be the same. If love is a feeling, an emotion, you can love anyone you wish to, and from a distance too. You do not expect anything in return so whatever you receive is a gift, a bonus, a dessert for your meal. Love inherently is unconditional and non-judgmental. Something close to divine and inexplicable. Can you think of how you love your friends and never judge them to be anything less than perfect no matter how they are and how different they are from you or your other friends? And then comes infatuation. Oh, that feeling when your mind is on Cloud Nine! The start of a heady love-affair. The butterflies in your stomach. How you think of them almost all the time. How all the love songs suddenly make sense. And how, even if it is the umpteenth time you have a crush, you can't help but see your crush as no less than human embodiment of perfection. Sometimes, we love this feeling of infa

What if your choices are not life sentences?

 <How I deal with anxiety, uncertainty, overthinking and life> <What if your choices and decisions are not final destinations and life sentences?> I was never really a victim of anxiety until 2018. Three traumatic episodes from three different spheres of my life had fallen upon me together at the same time, then. One of them was something I finally confessed to in 2020 on my Instagram and felt a huge burden off my chest. Writing in general and on social media helps this way. The sheer fact that when you write something, someone sitting miles away from you can relate to it, have gone through something like it or empathize to it, not only gives validation to your emotions but also a sense of meaning and purpose to your life and experiences, a sense of pure human connection. But because it wasn't one trauma after the other, but three together, I had picked up some paranoia and anxiety as a symptom then. These are things I started working on from 2019 with a therapist and a

My Comfort Zone was Killing me Slowly so I shifted to the House of Discomfort

 Only someone who observed me as closely and for long as my mother would know how I deliberately put myself in difficult positions to get a desired outcome. When I was in my fourth year of engineering, and already placed in a job which I would eventually join after college, I still tutored students of class Xth on Physics and Math as early as 7.30am in the morning on Sundays. Our neighbours were surprised to see a young girl who should be enjoying her off days, waking up early in the morning to tutor kids, but both my Mom and I knew it was a choice rather than a need. The money I earned from tutoring helped me buy things for myself like the guitar I never learned to play or the expensive lunches at Mainland China more often, while my other classmates ate at Dhabas and Canteens and Dominos and KFCs of the city. The preparation I had to do for each class I taught made me relearn the concepts of Physics and Math, and made me better in communication- something I knew would eventually help

Curious Case of the Open Backdoor

What does a backdoor mean to you? In matters related to computers, a backdoor is something that breaches security measures and accesses private data without your permission- some means hackers would use. In matters of real estate, a backdoor is a door at the rear end of a house or building. Leaving it open would often mean keeping the house insecure as one would seldom be guarding that end unless when close to it. Leaving it open would also give one the chance to run away from the backdoor when someone uninvited unwanted is at the front door. So, what does backdoor mean when it comes to your life goals? It's something on the similar lines- Every time you devise a plan B, you are creating a backdoor in your life and leaving it open. Your life goals could be anything - that career option, that job offer, that relationship, that marriage proposal, that transfer letter, anything significant, and anything that makes you wonder how it would turn out, anything where the future is uncertai

Creating with No Form, No Structure, No Significance

When I wrote the title of this blogpost the only thing I could think of is water. There would be many quotes on the internet asking you to be like water, to change your shape according to situations. Like water, you can change your taste too based on what you are mixed with. You see, how you connect to different people from varied backgrounds but gel with them like you were born to gel with them, connect with the things that match and simply allow them to be different from you in their own ways without making the difference too significant. That's how I meet people, speak to them, I have different kinds of friends, from almost different worlds, and every one meets a different version of me that way. A practical thought process to imbibe the philosophical perspective of being like water is to have no form, no structure, no significance. I could say these three words, and people may contract wondering how can we have no form, no structure or no significance when everyone wants to be