It’s been days now since I wrote my last blog – not out of
the lack of thinking-time but because sometimes I don’t find a charging spot in
a train (my laptop battery sucks big time) or sometimes I am too sleepy when I
reach my hostel after all the sight-seeing of the day.[Right now I am typing
while sitting on the train to Paris from Stuttgart]
Life has changed or maybe, I have changed. Only a few days
earlier we were thinking of our student exchange program, planning of the
places we would visit – Vienna, Paris, Santorini, etc; And now we are here
living that dream of ours we had seen from before joining an MBA program.
Oh, how I love myself to have dared to take this trip
despite all the initial doubts of mine and worries of my loved ones. Oh, how I
love myself today that I am almost a nomad traveling from one place to another,
sleeping in trains, making a living room in train stations, with my backpack
that has sufficient clothes to last me for two months.
Of course, it isn’t a piece of cake all the time. We can’t
make calls when we want to, I can’t eat whatever I lay my eyes on; my stuffs
get lost or misplaced all the time. In the last 30 days, I have lost not only
my clothes and jacket but I have also managed to spill water on both my phones,
spoiling their circuits so that even three repairing shops have given up on
trying repairing them. I bought the cheapest phone available in the market only
a few days back so that I can still attend calls and take a photo or two for
memories’ sake. And the selfie-stick my sister gifted me for my solo travel?
Broken, that too.
It’s disheartening at times when I have to let go of
material possessions I adored. It’s disheartening when bad things happen, when
I have to carry so much luggage around which is so unlike me, when I sometimes
don’t get a hostel to stay and have to worry about where and how to spend the
night, and now that the blisters on my feet are taking forever to heal.
But above all the disappointments, the small failures, I
guess the bigger picture still remains the same – that here I am, finally
embracing life, embracing myself with every broken pieces of my soul. For I
dare not repair the broken to let the scars remain, I decide to let the broken
forget it was ever broken, so that if it heals, let it be, if it doesn’t let it
be. Let it be.
The things we lose, the things we break and the blisters on our feet more often than not, give us something more back in return. Something that is difficult to describe, but it certainly makes our lives richer.
ReplyDeleteSuper effort..San..bit then these are the moments you will cherish your entire life..like Rithika does am sure ..you have a great knack for writing and I think you should seriously pursue that as a career..been trying to convince Rithika to take up singing for long now..so thought just might try to convince you to write as a profession..trust me..you ate good.
ReplyDeleteSuper effort..San..bit then these are the moments you will cherish your entire life..like Rithika does am sure ..you have a great knack for writing and I think you should seriously pursue that as a career..been trying to convince Rithika to take up singing for long now..so thought just might try to convince you to write as a profession..trust me..you ate good.
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