A Readoholic / Foodoholic / Movie-oholic’s Utopia

Everyone must have a different Utopia. And if I had a place in mine, it would be all filled with food and books and food and books, an occasionally a movie or two.

When I was in my final year of Engineering in Guwahati, I “nurtured” the habit of going out to eat every day and for a movie, every alternate week. When I landed on Mumbai, to my utter delight I found that only a kilometer away stood the building of my dreams – the Movie Hall. No wonder, Saturday and Sunday evenings were spent watching the latest show in the Movie Complex.

Eventually, some of my friends and I decided to go for a movie on every Friday evening, after office hours. Bookmyshow came into picture and hours were spent deciding on the perfect time to leave office and on reaching the place before the trailers are shown. As we realized we are spending a lot of money on our movie-affair we relied on discounts and coupons – early bird discounts at the hall and Rs. 50-100 off on CupoNation.

Now that ten months have elapsed being on Mumbai, I realized that watching every other movie might not be a good idea. Movies like Shaadi ke Side Effects, Bewakoofiyan, Annabelle were nothing but disappointments. I pledged not to go for a movie without knowing the plot/watching the trailer/knowing anything about the actors/director. Movies like Queen, Interstellar, Daawat-e-Ishq, How to Train Your Dragon 2 were good decisions made.

Of late, the frequency of my visits to the Movie Complex has lessened. I have opted out from going along with my friends for Telugu (a language I do not understand) movies unlike before. This may partly be because I have bought a dangerous number of books recently yet to be read by me.

When I came to Mumbai I brought only a magazine with me. Now I have more than 30 books kept neatly on the table near my bed, around 70 magazines and 6-8 diaries. I had bought only three books in the month of January, but eventually I learned about the Book Deals available on the Internet (of course, CupoNation and other such sites that rescue mere IT engineers like me) and saved an awful amount of money and bought an awful number of books. Have I read them? The Signature of All Things is read 1/5^th, Kahlil Gibran 1/20^th, Bhagavad Gita 1/10^th, The Winning Way 2/3^rd, Her Story ½, etc.

I’ll read them eventually, I know. And there are just so many more books to read and life is just so short. Phew.

My recent obsession is food. I have always been obsessed with food but in August-October’2014 I had actually stopped eating a lot/outside/junk. I have again developed the usual cravings. Every weekend is a feast. Every alternate day in office is spent ordering food online. The delivery guys can recognize me. The address of my flat and office is no more a place unknown them. And now that I sit and write this post on a lazy Saturday morning, I also open the site for all kinds of food/restaurant deals on my browser, order an awful lot of food which will, no doubt, be more than sufficient for me and my roommates, and eat them all up and go for a sleep dreaming about the Utopia I live in.

"Are You a Lesbian?"

“Are you a lesbian?” A friend of mine once asked me mockingly when we were discussing about my aversion from some (“some” not “all”) kind of men. “No. But does it matter?” I asked her scornfully. No, I wasn’t bothered that I was asked a question about my sexuality. But what I didn’t understand was that is being a lesbian a matter to be jeered about? What if I was one? Wouldn’t I be hurt and embarrassed that my sexuality was just mocked at? Why are the words “gay” or “lesbian” used as slangs? Another incident, that took place a couple of years back, was when I was teasing two girl friends of mine, accusing them of having an affair. I considered it as normal as teasing a guy and a girl. One of them found it so disrespectful that she, instead of simply denying the fact, chided that she isn’t of such “third class” standard. I later discussed the small argument that we had, with her, trying to make my point that being a lesbian or a transgender doesn’t define anyone’s cla...

Ablaze Within ...

It was either for the scorching sunrise that hurt her eyes or the cold breeze that blew scratching the fresh wounds on her arms, but Disha could tell that her friend had tears in her eyes for some reason or the other. “Nothing,” Razia said, when confronted by Disha, hiding her eyes as she wiped her tears with her hands. “Got paid?” Disha enquired. “Yes.” Lied Razia while walking towards the place she has been calling home from the past couple of years. She headed for the bathroom as she entered her room where two girls were sitting, one smoking a cigarette while the other wearing make-up in front of the broken mirror in the room. Razia cleaned her skirt that was smeared with her blood. She wasn’t prepared for it. After all it was that 14- year old’s first time. Not the first time that she had been “ridden” by men, nor the first time that she bled while bearing the intolerable pain the men gave her, but for the first time that she painlessly bled indicating a cycle o...

Remembrance and Renegade - Checking in with Myself from 2022

When I stepped out of my cocoon last year, I wanted to create a beautiful life... for myself and for other people like me - smart, intelligent, but unhappy, unfulfilled, unsatisfied, their potentials never tapped into, their hearts smashed every time they typed on their laptops and looked at the clock. Time passes by for them and nothing happens. Or everything happens but just by the clock. Money buys them expensive shoes but where was the time to step out? Every conversation was a game of poker where you bet or you call but you can never fold. It's been a year now. I fear I may have failed. I didn't create the world I promised myself and my invisible readers. What am I doing? My life only got worse. There were places to go to but where were the expensive shoes? Fear, trapped me in an invisible cage I carried with me everywhere I went. My neck strangled by a stranger's hands of expectations. How could I stand up to his expectations when I can't even stand up to my own? ...

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