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Monday, December 26, 2011

The Break-up Resolution

Attempt # 1
So, my resolution for the year 2011 was this easy – lose eating high cholesterol food, lose weight. And I celebrated the first day of the new year with cakes, chocolates and burgers (u may LOL, but this implies failure and failure actually hurts).

Attempt # 2
So, on the second day of the year, I decided that the resolution was not easy to stick to and a new resolution is required (you may ask why, simple, it’s because everybody else has one). So, my new new-year resolution was to exercise daily, lose weight. Now, it was just a day ago that I broke a resolution so this time I had to stick to whatever I had declared to myself. But of course, I am not someone to begin the hard work from the very first day. Hence, “from tomorrow it is” I affirmed to myself.
On the third day of the year, it was not until midnight that it occurred to me that I forgot to “inaugurate” my exercise routine that day. So, “from tomorrow it sure will be”.
On the fourth day of the year I actually began exercising. I woke up at 9 in the morning (Well, it may not be the time when others work out but it was early enough for me), turned on mtv and started stretching myself. And then, just then, mtv showed a favorite song of mine which is not so popular (most of my favorite songs are unpopular) and I glued my eyes to the TV set. What next, I flipped channels, watched star world, had breakfast, watched a movie, had lunch, browsed the internet, went out with friends, had dinner, returned and realized that I did not even do 60 seconds of workout that day. So, “from tomorrow it is” I said to myself and slept.
On the fifth day of the year I was determined not to give up on my second new-year resolution and so I woke up at 7am. I did not turn on the TV because of the unforeseen yet expected outcome of the previous day. I turned on some rap songs on my cell phone and started stretching myself for the workout. Seconds later I could smell the delicious masala chaai Mom was making in the kitchen. And seconds later I was in the dining room enjoying the tea with chocolate cookies.
Attempt # 3
On the sixth day of the year, recalling the previous day, I gave up on the second resolution too. I decided to have another one, an easier one. So, I scrolled down the list of New Year resolutions of various people on facebook. Naah! Each and every resolution seemed too difficult for me to stick to. A New Year resolution should always be beneficial. After a long process of thinking of resolutions and declining them I finally decided my third and hopefully the final resolution of 2011 will be that I will never sleep for more than 10 hours a day. Yes, this was it. The perfect resolution that’s beneficial for health and definitely easy to stick to. That day I slept with a content smile.
On the seventh day of the year I woke up after an 8-hour sleep. So, finally I had a resolution with which I stuck to from the very first day of making it. I was too happy that day. I sang, danced, went out, and had lots and lots of chocolates and pizzas. The bliss made me a little tired that day so I slept early.
Attempt # 4
After the first week of the year had passed, I woke up being totally pissed off since I had been sleeping for around 13 hours (yes, u got it right thirteen hours). This time I went for the ultimate resolution- no more following the custom of New Year resolutions. Yes, this must be the easiest. In fact, it wasn’t a resolution at all. It was simply quitting, breaking up with the commitments you made to yourself for a healthy body and a better mind. Wait, Am I a disgusting person? Naah,, I am just a lazybones.
This time this resolution was the best one, I never gave a second thought about new-year resolutions after that. I even made a record of sleeping for 15hours one day before my semester exams.
I was contented with myself until today, the 26th of December, when I updated my facebook status to “thinking of a New Year resolution for 2012”. Oops. So I broke my last resolution too. I wonder why I don’t hate myself for being such a pathetic person.
So, now I am sitting, thinking of a new-year resolution that’s easy to stick to yet beneficial, in spite of knowing the fact that I will forget about it and/or break it within a week of making it. And again my resolution for the coming year will be the defiance of the custom of making resolutions. (I hope it makes sense).
Conclusion:  I updated my facebook status to 5days left,, time to think of a new new-year resolution that's easy to stick to and easier to forget in no time”
Moral of the story: New Year resolutions are nothing but ways to make you feel miserable about yourself when you fail to stick to them. [This holds good only for the lazybones and not for the doers.]
Lesson Learned: Never Again!

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